Tag Archives: domestic violence

Survivor Spotlight: Patience’s Story

Survivor Spotlight,

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Patience left her abusive partner after enduring years of emotional, physical and verbal abuse. The final straw came for Patience when her wife pushed her down the stairs, bruising her tailbone and breaking her ankle, in front of their son. Patience became acquainted with the Women’s Resource Center when a friend suggested she get help. The first meeting was held in a private office at the adult day care center where she works part-time as a CNA. Through the course of her work with WRC, Patience reclaimed her power as she filed for divorce from her spouse, secured new housing, and is in the process of filing for sole custody of their son.

The Law Enforcement and Court Advocates at WRC helped Patience navigate the process of securing a restraining order and filing for divorce from her abusive partner. Patience told her WRC advocate that she was looking forward to living her life without fearing her abuser will show up in public places, as there was a time where she was unable to even grocery shop or work due to this fear. Her child is also now in school and her job allows her to remain close to her son’s school. Mother and son also travel together on public transportation on a daily basis. Patience’s hard work and courage to seek help from the Women’s Resource Center literally saved her and her son’s life.

Survivor Spotlight: Matt’s Story

Survivor Spotlight,

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Although we do not often think of men as victims, statistics show men can be and actually are victims of domestic violence. This is the story of a man who went above and beyond to obtain sole custody of his daughter who became the primary victim of his abuser, the mother, when he left the relationship that was not only abusive but a toxic one, as he described it. Matt stated that it was his love for his daughter that gave him the strength and determination to stay sober for a year and overcome his physical health condition and mental health challenges to prove to the authorities he was not only worthy but capable to take proper care of his child.

He was assisted to obtain a work waiver while attending his court dates that allowed him to find affordable, stable and safe housing, and a child support waiver to prevent any retaliation from the mother that would disturb the stability and peace that he was trying to surround his daughter with.

At the time of reassessment with the Women’s Resource Center, Matt reported he was enrolled at the Community College of Rhode Island for a second associate’s degree and his plan is to help people like himself who are willing and determined to get their lives, their dignity and their families back, and be part of a healthy and productive community again.

Survivor Spotlight: Clara’s Story

Survivor Spotlight,

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The Women’s Resource Center assisted Clara, a young woman who was seeking a divorce from her abuser. After being connected to RI Legal Aid through the Women’s Resource Center, she was able to obtain support in getting her divorce. For many years, Clara feared facing her abuser, whom she had been with since she was 11 years old, and was so nervous about seeing him in court, she often got sick beforehand.

With the help of the Women’s Resource Center’s Court Advocacy Program, Clara felt empowered enough to move forward with leaving her abuser in the dust once and for all. At the divorce proceedings, child support was established, along with reasonable visitation rights for Clara’s children. After the proceedings, she came in to the reassessment meeting with her Women’s Resource Center advocate feeling accomplished and relieved to have this part of her life settled.

Clara is proud to be working part-time as an office assistant at a doctors office, the first time she has worked in her life due to her abuser’s control over her. During the assessment, she requested a Good Cause Removal of the child support waiver and her case is now closed successfully, thanks to the guidance of the Women’s Resource Center’s advocates.

 

Survivor Spotlight: Ming’s Story

Survivor Spotlight,

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Ming has a tenacious heart in the face of adversity. When she came to the Women’s Resource Center, she was seeking help. After fleeing her physically and verbally abusive husband, Ming and her six children drove through the night after an altercation where her violent husband pulled a knife on her, and they ended up in Rhode Island. After arriving at the Women’s Resource Center, Ming was granted with a work waiver – she later requested it be lifted after two months to begin a CNA class.

All alone without support, Ming had no family or friends around to help her. But, because of her effervescent personality, Ming soon made friends with the neighbors, who were enchanted by her children, and offered to take care of them after school while Ming went to classes. She also used the help of neighbors’ transportation to do grocery shopping, make appointments and even go to church.

Once Ming finished CNA classes, she faced a new challenge: passing the state test, which she did successfully at first attempt. At the time of her last meeting with a Women’s Resource Center advocate, Ming reported that she is working, and her children are doing well, growing healthy, and excited to go back to school.

Survivor Spotlight: Sun’s Story

Survivor Spotlight,

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Sun, a survivor of domestic violence, has had a child support waiver for three or four years. While she was with her abuser, although he shot her and beat her, she received felony charges for her abuser’s actions. During a meeting with a Women’s Resource Center advocate, Sun described the growth, empowerment and self-esteem boost she experienced as a person after surviving the nightmare she lived through.

She explained that she is safer being away from her abuser and that the child support waiver has kept the peace, and the Women’s Resource Center gave her the tools she needed to get free. Sun’s not yet where she wishes to be in life but has a management position at her place of employment and is looking into ways of returning to school to complete her degree.

Survivor Spotlight: Tori’s Story

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After dealing with physical, emotional and verbal abuse for years from her partner, Tori drew the line when he began abusing their daughter. When her partner realized Tori would do anything to protect their daughter, the abuse escalated, becoming even worse than before.

That’s when she reached out to the Women’s Resource Center and secured a Child Support Waiver so she could move on.

After that life-changing phone call, Tori decided to piece together her broken life. She finally broke down, called a family member and told them about the abuse.  Luckily, Tori and her daughter were graciously accepted into the home of her family member, so she was able to flee her abusive household safely, with her daughter in tow.

It has been years since she’s been in contact with her abuser; the night she fled was the last night they spoke. Tori’s eternally grateful for the support the Women’s Resource Center has provided her family.

Although it took Tori years to not look over her shoulder every day, she now lives in peace and is completing her practicum for a certificate program in the medical field. Thankfully, her daughter is well-adjusted, doing well in school, sports, and socially.

Above all, Tori is mostly happy that she was able to find the courage to leave her abuser and provide her daughter with a better life. If it were not for the help of the Women’s Resource Center, Tori fears her abuser would have continued to inflict harm upon her and her daughter.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Survivor Spotlight: Dunia’s Story

Survivor Spotlight, ,

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Dunia thought she had it all – a family she loved, a warm and cozy house, and a doting husband. And, for the first years of her relationship with her husband, this was true. Then, something changed after they got married, and the abuse began. In the beginning, she said, it was mainly verbal arguments and emotional abuse, but soon, escalated to physical violence. When her husband pushed her against a wall and tried to choke her while she was in the third trimester of her first pregnancy, Dunia began to see how deep-rooted the violence was.

After 7 years of being kicked, punched, spit on, and verbally abused, Dunia had had enough, and she made one call that would change her life.

Dunia was first referred by the Rhode Island Department of Human Services to the Women’s Resource Center. There, she requested a Child Support Waiver to help support her children. The Advocate met Dunia when she was five months pregnant and visibly fearful of her abuser, despite having escaped. Due to her cultural beliefs,  she’d never told anyone in her family about what she was going through, especially her parents, and never dared to call the police.

Once Dunia reached out to an Advocate within the Women’s Resource Center and shared that she finally got the courage to call the police, she felt she was finally able to overcome her abuser. In light of her recent success, Dunia felt it was possible to let her parents in on the secret she had kept all these years. Once Dunia shared with her parents what had been going on, she realized that her parents would always support her unconditionally, as they asked that she and two children move to live with them.

By the time of the second reassessment, Dunia disclosed that she was feeling more empowered and independent, and stronger and with a better self-esteem. These feelings allowed her to go back to school, while still working full time. She acknowledged the tremendous support she was getting from her parents and the assistance from the Family Violence Option Advocacy Program (FVOAP) and expressed her gratitude. However strong she felt, Dunia was conscious that she was not yet ready to face her abuser, and asked for a continuation of the child support waiver.

When our Advocate met with her once again six months later, Dunia joyfully talked about her good grades at school, that her kids were doing great, and her parents were enjoying their time with their grandchildren while supporting her one hundred percent.

Dunia was ecstatic to be free her abuser for good when her husband eventually filed for divorce. She truly feels she is capable to live without him and provide for her children with a healthy and safe environment to grow up in.

Survivor Spotlight: Penelope’s Story

Survivor Spotlight, ,

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Penelope reached out to the Women’s Resource Center in an attempt to escape from her hostile husband in Connecticut. After years of enduring physical and emotional abuse, she was ready to leave the state to protect herself and her five children, and start a new life.

The Women’s Resource Center connected Penelope to the Family Violence Option Advocacy Program (FVOAP), and within her first assessment, Penelope’s family was already on their way to being relocated from Connecticut to Rhode Island. The FVOAP program helped Penelope and her family get on their feet once they were in the Ocean State. The program helped secure safe housing, connected Penelope with community resources like cash assistance at the Department of Human Services (DHS), helped enroll the children in school, referred the family to counseling services, and got Penelope registered in a Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA) program so she could work to support her family.

Soon, the Women’s Resource Center set Penelope and her family in motion. Penelope was granted a work waiver that allowed her to attend counseling while locating safe housing and resources in the community, and her five children were enrolled in school and attended consistently, which ensured their safety and good grades. She then began attending CNA classes to further her education and create more career opportunities for herself. After a strong eight weeks of training, she took the Rhode Island State Test and later reported that she passed on the second attempt. She is currently employed as a CNA.

After a heartbreaking journey, we were able to help Penelope determine the next path that her life would take. In the last meeting with the FVOAP advocate, Penelope excitedly shared that she would soon be closing her cash assistance case at the DHS, and living independently.

Domestic Violence Demands Gun Control Legislation

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Last month, Governor Raimondo signed legislation to keep guns away from domestic abusers. As Rep. Teresa Tanzi stated, “At last, victims of domestic abuse in Rhode Island will not have the constant fear of knowing that the person who abused them still has a gun.”

As if the abuse itself is not enough to cause constant, paralyzing fear, adding guns to the mix is like adding fuel onto a fire. Abused women are five times more likely to be killed by their abuser if the abuser owns a firearm. It’s a simple fact that guns in the hands of any person with a history of violence can only lead to tragedy.

Case in point is the recent Texas church massacre. The gunman was convicted and jailed for assaulting his wife repeatedly and beating his infant stepson until he suffered a fractured skull. He spent time in a mental institution, was booted from the military for bad conduct, stalked and harassed ex-girlfriends and was sentenced for animal cruelty for beating a puppy. His long resume of violence dates back to middle school.

Despite all of these warning signs and a well-documented dark past for such a young person, he was able to amass a gun collection that he used to kill dozens of innocent souls – including those of a pregnant woman, her unborn child and numerous children. If you knew what you now know about this shooter, would you have in good conscience had any part in selling him a gun? If he could beat up a puppy and an infant with his bare hands, what would he have done with a gun in his possession? Unfortunately, we – and the 26 dead, the numerous injured, their families and our grieving nation – know the answer.

It’s time we stop putting guns into the hands of those who cannot handle themselves. Support gun legislation to stop the violence and protect innocent lives, before it happens again.

 

By Lori N. DiPersio, Executive Director

Women’s Resource Center serving Newport and Bristol Counties